sex

Sexy professors and strong women

~ Josie Baker ~ 2 Comments

As a little girl, I loved watching Wonder Woman’s adventures on TV, but I had no idea how controversial she’d been in her earlier years. Originally known for themes of bondage and lesbianism, outraged mothers influenced politicians and educators to pressure DC Comics into toning down the erotic elements. Wonder Woman was reinvented and the feminist icon became another ‘vanilla’ superhero.

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The creator…

William Moulton Marston (psychologist and lawyer) was the inventor of the systolic blood pressure test, which became a component of the modern polygraph, or lie detector, with the help of his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston.

He was also radical feminist. Having served in the first world war, Marston introduced Wonder Woman to the world during the second world war, in 1941, and she was initially depicted fighting Axis military forces. “He believed that the only way to save the world from war was for women to rule the world and for men to become more like women. Marston was, among other things, a noted psychological researcher and an enthusiastic bondage fetishist; he believed comic books were a great form for educational, anti-patriarchy propaganda. Wonder Woman was designed to bring the world to matriarchy through confronting abuse and modelling girl power, genderfucking, bondage play, and erotic mind control.” Continue reading →

The Little Death

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

I have a confession to make: I adore drinking wine – white or red – and have been a fan of rosé, especially the dry varieties, for many years. As a lover of most things French and sensual, on a recent mini break to Queensland’s ‘granite belt’, I couldn’t resist ordering the La Petite Mort Rosé from a restaurant wine list.

The cool, high country and decomposed granite soils of the area make for unique and excellent wines – the label got my attention, andthe wine did not disappoint!

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http://www.lapetitemort.com.au/

As I was drinking, my curiosity sparked and I did a little digging about the origins of the term ‘La Petite Mort’. The little death as a metaphor for orgasm is fairly mainstream, and has been used as a title for many things, including restaurants and a ballet, and is referenced widely in music lyrics.

The term was in use as early as the 16th century, originally referring to a fainting fit, later enlarged to include ‘nervous spasm’. More recently the term has been used to describe a sexual orgasm as a spiritual as well as physical release, an orgasm so intense it feels like an out of body experience; the feeling of having expended life force, of having died a little.

Surely, a little warm death is even better? (sung beautifully by Stringmansassy):

La petite mort is commonly used in literature, although not always in a sexual way (i.e. Thomas Hardy’s Tess of the D’Urbervilles) and literary critic Roland Barthes used the term to describe the experience of reading great literature.

I’m sure I’ll find a way to slip it into my writing…

I’ll leave you with a beautiful but sad song…

a tout a l’heure…

Foot fetish or foot appreciation?

~ Josie Baker ~ 2 Comments

To some, the sight of a well-tended, attractive foot is a huge turn-on. Why is it that a high arch, elegant toes, foot jewellery and/or sexy shoes can turn a normally sensible person into a slavering sex slave?

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There are a few theories, but this is the one I particularly like:

According to the neuroscientists, the part of the brain that relates to the genitalia and feet are located next to one other in the brain’s body image map, which can lead to some crossed wiring. The neurons in the brain that have to do with sensations in the foot are ‘neural neighbours’ to the neurons that have to do with sensations in the sexual areas. The theory is that the ‘couriers’ in the nervous system get crossed, which is why feet can be so erotic.

Other researchers have found the smell of feet is arousing  to some – the natural odour of feet can act like pheromones.

For men, interest in pretty peds may be because they don’t typically spend any time on their own feet, whereas women often make an effort to make theirs look attractive. The arches and natural curves of the woman’s foot can be as arousing as any feminine curve.

Then there’s ‘cue theory’ or imprinting – childhood experiences which may have a direct effect on a person’s erotic attraction to feet. Foot cues could originate from a very young age – as young as when a child is crawling, when they may see their mother’s feet more than any other part of her body. Thus, a foot can become associated with the positive feelings of a nurturing mother.

Ogi Ogas, a neuroscientist and co-author of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, explains, “Following cue theory, during a man’s critical period of sexual desire formation, his innate foot cue makes him more likely to pay attention to feet and makes him more receptive to foot-related stimuli. If through chance or culture he is then exposed to a strong foot-related experience—a woman sticking her foot in a thirteen-year-old’s face or watching your first girlfriend slowly unroll her black stockings—then the foot-related details of the experience are more likely to get imprinted.”

 

I can definitely appreciate how a lovely foot can be a turn-on, but from what I understand, having a fetish means that in order to be fully sexually aroused, you need to focus on one body part. In the case of podophilia, a foot fetish, the body part/s involved are the feet.

But there’s no reason you couldn’t call your love of a beautifully tended foot a fetish, if that’s what turns you on 😉

And if feet are your man’s Achilles heel, here are some positions he’ll love:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/g8659598/foot-fetish-sex-positions/

deleted (sex) scenes

~ Josie Baker ~ 2 Comments

In case you’ve noticed how quiet things have been around here, it isn’t because I got caught in an alternate universe… I’ve been writing women’s fiction, which doesn’t really lend itself to making discoveries suitable for sharing here.

On the up-side of my ‘vanilla’ pursuits, I’m currently editing a story that I wrote with quite a lot of spicy sexual elements, most of which are going to need to be heavily edited or removed, so the story fits in with the rest of the series.

So, as I come across those naughty little scenes, I’ll share them here 😊 I hope you enjoy them.

And in the meantime, I’ve been exploring the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ of the female foot as a sexual turn-on…

Orgasms… the extremes some women will go to

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

There’s no denying orgasms are one of life’s more pleasurable – and for many of us, accessible – experiences. But if it wasn’t a simple pleasure? How far would you go to experience the sweet, if short, release of orgasm?

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These days genital plastic surgery is quite common, to make us look prettier ‘down there’ or in an attempt to make orgasm easier to achieve. The removal of the clitoral hood has been popular since the Victorians believed it to be superfluous and that exposing the glans clitoris would make women more responsive.

In fact, the hood is made up of erogenous tissue – it is a pleasure receptor in itself and protects the often too-sensitive clitoris (direct pressure can be painful), diffusing it’s sensitivity so sex can be a pleasurable, not an uncomfortable activity. And why would you willingly remove even a small piece of the organ packed with nerve endings, present in the body for the sole purpose of pleasure? Without it, wouldn’t we just be depriving ourselves of part of our erogenous anatomy? Continue reading →

To come, or to cum…

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

While drafting a steamy short story today, I become strangely caught up and indecisive about whether I was using the slang term ‘cum’ correctly. Should I replace with ‘climax’ or ‘orgasm’ for the verb, ‘semen’ or ‘ejaculate’ for the noun?

In my search for answers, I came across this clever article, which made me smile and clarified the ‘proper’ use of ‘cum’ and ‘come’.

Come is excellent for use in ‘polite’ circumstances: journalism, novels, etc
‘For example, there you are, having sweet vanilla sex with your shy, classically handsome crush, listening to vintage Taylor Swift while the pie in the oven gets a little burnt, though it’s still definitely edible. He comes, there is come.’
and, or course, for all those delicious double entendres and sexual puns.

Cum is the more blunt, vulgar alternative (commonly used in men’s magazine articles, romance novels, etc)
‘The standoffish but mysteriously attractive guy from the party wants to have his way with you. His pillows are made of leather. Crazy. “I’m gonna cum,” he grunts.’

Quotes above by Katy Waldman

Verbally, misunderstandings can be unavoidable, but in writing the use of ‘cum’ is handy to make the sexual meaning clear if the sentence is ambiguous – and not intended to be. Continue reading →

Beautiful sex, beautiful life

~ Josie Baker ~ 2 Comments

I’ve been bursting to write to share my recent tantra experience, but I wanted to let my life settle back fully into it’s regular routine so I could judge how much of an impact it has actually made on me.

After four weeks I can tell you that learning a little about tantra has truly influenced my life for the better. I realise the weekend workshop I attended recently only glanced the surface of what tantra is and how it can become an intrinsic part of your life. I had just a small taste, but what a sweet taste it was.

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With my limited experience, this is my understanding of tantra…

The underlying belief centres on the conservation of sexual energy in order to prolong youthful vitality. This is achieved by retaining the essence that is usually lost during ejaculation for men and menstruation for women. I think you would need a deep understanding and commitment to the practice of tantra to follow the path of virtually ceasing ejaculation/menstruation, but there is so much to be learnt from tantra without following that particular path.

To me tantra represents a shared and mutual awareness and respect of your own and your partners pleasure and needs – in relation to sex and in life.

The most significant insight for me was to realise that the difference between average sex and good sex is mindfulness. Often in long term relationships making love is rushed or has become an afterthought – a means for sexual satisfaction and release. It can become a shallow experience. By giving sex priority at the time you and your partner are truly together and at your most vulnerable (turn the TV off/don’t think about what you need to do when you’re finished or how busy your schedule is tomorrow) and focusing on what gives pleasure in that moment without thinking of the end game, orgasm, sex can become a communion between two people, a kind of meditation. Making love is not another task to be achieved in your day, it is a sensual experience, a joy to be savoured.

This awareness and generosity also spills over into other aspects of a couple’s relationship and into your relationship with yourself.

And couldn’t the same principle of being present and mindful during love-making be applied to life? Experiences had while on auto-pilot are not rich in sensual detail. Without the memories of smell, sound and touch (ie. atmospheric conditions of wind and temperature) an experience becomes forgettable, disposable. They do not enrich your life and make it memorable.

The taste I have had of tantra has awakened for me a deeper sensuality and respect for life. But what I really took away was how important it is to be present and live in the moment – whether you are making love, eating a meal or taking a walk on the beach.

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This mindfulness is the focus of Margot Anand’s The Art of Everyday Ecstacy. the idea of living a full, rich and pleasurable life. I would recommend anyone who yearns for inner tranquillity and purpose read it.

Her writing opened up for me a whole new attitude towards the true pleasure. Continue reading →