relationships

Sex… with a penis

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

As a female writer who enjoys exploring the unknown, I sometimes write stories from the point of view of a male protagonist. As I often write graphic sex scenes, so I find myself trying to imagine what it would be like to have sex – from the point of view of the guy attached to the penis. What sparks the desire to seduce a particular woman? If my intention is to look for sex, what is it that draws me to one woman above others? Her looks, her figure, her laugh… her scent. Or is it that she’s looking at me, hinting that she’s interested?

And if sex isn’t my motivation for being amongst people, what makes it so? What puts the idea in my mind and inspires me to initiate sex? What drives me want to peak quickly, or to draw out and savour the pleasure?

Basically, how is the pleasure different to what a woman experiences during foreplay, orgasm and post-coitus?

As always, I did some research online (as well as having some fun imagining). If you’d like to see how I did writing sex from a male POV, click on the graphic below and grab a copy of ‘With You’, a sensual imagining of a night of lust in WW2 Paris, when life was precarious and pleasure was a precious distraction from the dangers and depravations of living in Nazi-occupied Paris.

books2read.com/PlayingDirtyWithYou

Below are some descriptions I found helpful (with links to relevant websites at the end).

‘The penis is surrounded by wet warmth. The psychological experience of being completely enveloped by a vagina is incomparable. It feels like power, potential, and freedom at the same time.’

‘… feels like a warm cushion. The weird part is, the penis doesn’t really “absorb” the feeling. It’s your head/brain that starts rushing.’

“Entering a vagina is a very intense moment because for me – it’s the ultimate agreement of intimacy between a man and woman.”

I love this one (even though its external):
‘Comparison-wise, put your index finger in your mouth and wrap your tongue around it. Now imagine if your finger had the sensitivity of your clit. That’s what it’s like.’
*Cue my brain exploding!

The lead up to sex more so than the act, before the physical sensations take over, seems to be easier to describe as internal sensations/motivation:

‘…excited, focused, and consumed with an overwhelming sense of animalistic focus. It’s as if my biological hardwiring kicks in, flooding my body with prickly adrenaline.’

‘I’m still in control of my body and my actions, but managing my behavior requires greater self-control. This is where many men indulge in a one-track mind. It’s like a hyper-state of arousal where we kind of enter a flow state of sex.’

Some creative responses to penile sensations feels during the act:

‘The penis does not feel consumed or surrounded, but functionally positioned like an elevator in its shaft. Pleasure comes in occasional jolts and not a constant sensation of deepening or rhythmic enjoyment.’

‘There’s tingling and further hardening and excitement and the feeling of growth and the will to go forward even deeper.’

‘As you thrust, each zone of penis gives a different sensation… the other enjoyable part is when the balls strike against the vulva…’

I love this one!
‘Imagine a thick sock made of velvet. Then add in some ridges.’

There were many comparisons to food and drink, and warm jam donuts…

‘Imaging eating the best brownie you’ve ever had, then imagine that sensation over all your nerve endings and taking up your entire headspace, rather than just having a party in your mouth.’

‘…like sliding into warm custard.’

‘A rush of adrenaline and excitement and then a satisfying feeling, like when you have that first sip of a cold beer on a really hot summer’s day.’

I would particularly love to hear from anyone out there who has a penis as part of their anatomy, or how those who don’t own a penis imagine it would be like to have and use one. Descriptions of how it feels when you start to get turned on (and what triggered it), the sensations and feelings your body experiences (not so much the external physical sensations) from penetration to climax. Email me at touche@josiebaker.exposed with the subject line “Sex with a penis” and I’ll send you a copy of ‘With You’ ebook.

💋

I found the enlightening quotes above on the following websites:

https://www.rsvplive.ie/life/men-describe-what-feels-like-23595773

View at Medium.com
https://medium.com/sexography/how-do-men-feel-before-during-and-after-sex-my-personal-reflections-68d44485dd44
Straight men share what sex feels like when you have a penis

pleasure in the past

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

In the story I’m madly working on at the moment, Siren, Elisabeth Tanner is a passionate, virginal bride-to-be, set in the British Virgin Islands in the early 19th century. Having grown up in a marginally less rigid society, with a companion/maid who would these days be considered a couples sex therapist (her reason for being employed in Elizabeth’s parents house provides an interesting secondary story) Beth is determined to enjoy the marriage bed.

The day of her engagement to scientist explorer William Swan – the day before he is to leave on a 6 week voyage – Beth gives her betrothed a notebook and asks him to write her a journal of pleasure while he’s away, to enlighten her in the joys of sex.

He goes one better and also has the sail-maker craft a sex-toy to practice with, and to give herself pleasure. Something like this, and 18th century dildo found in Poland, eight inches long and made of high quality leather with a carved wooden tip.

As usual, I did some digging on-line (hence the photo, above) and found some fascinating information on the history of sex aids.

Continue reading →

Getting hot and sweaty in the Australian outback…

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

in this sizzling small town romance

I’ve been reading (and dreaming) my way through the newly released, multi-genre romance anthology Revealed, and have just finished Sara Hartland’s Ryan’s Return, one of six sexy novellas. I loved it so much I thought I’d share a few of my favorite parts…

…she could no more resist than the tide could resist the moon.

She suddenly didn’t care that she was playing with fire.... when he tugged her hand, she spun and circled into his arms, then whirled out again, in time with the music, joy in her limbs and laughter on her lips. They circled the dance floor in game of catch and release, light touches and finger-tips curling, her breath quickening, giggles escaping as her spirits soared with the music.

He looked like he wanted to devour her. She felt like she wanted to let him.

There is so much more gorgeousness in this story that will make your toes curl!

Continue reading →

Want to see more?

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

Apologies for the late post. Mr August was a little hesitant at first, especially when he learnt of your response to Mr July… Overwhelmingly, you want to see more of my monthly featured playboy.

This month I’m featuring Ethan Cox (from my enemies-to-lovers celebrity novella Little Blonde Lies), the star actor of the streaming TV show Kingmaker. He was a little shy to begin with, but once he got into the swing, things got very hot… and wet. Take a look…

Mr August – Ethan Cox, actor
Continue reading →

Anaïs Nin… an inspiration

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

Like anyone, sometimes I feel a little uncertain about the path I’m on or a decision I’ve made. At these times, I know all I need is a small but powerful dose of Anaïs Nin – and one of her quotes was just the medicine I needed today.

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present.”

AnaisNin-455x350

I feel like she has lived what I am living – that she has seen the internal struggles I face as a woman and a writer:
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.”

That her sprit understands mine:
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

She gives me strength to be confident:
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

And the confidence to be strong:
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

To expect happiness and fulfilment:
“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

Anaïs Nin was a strong and complex woman. I am so grateful we have the legacy of her writing and her diaries to benefit from her insights and experiences.

Little Birds was the inspiration for my own collection of sensual short stories, Love, Lust & Nipple Clamps.

Sexy professors and strong women

~ Josie Baker ~ 2 Comments

As a little girl, I loved watching Wonder Woman’s adventures on TV, but I had no idea how controversial she’d been in her earlier years. Originally known for themes of bondage and lesbianism, outraged mothers influenced politicians and educators to pressure DC Comics into toning down the erotic elements. Wonder Woman was reinvented and the feminist icon became another ‘vanilla’ superhero.

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The creator…

William Moulton Marston (psychologist and lawyer) was the inventor of the systolic blood pressure test, which became a component of the modern polygraph, or lie detector, with the help of his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston.

He was also radical feminist. Having served in the first world war, Marston introduced Wonder Woman to the world during the second world war, in 1941, and she was initially depicted fighting Axis military forces. “He believed that the only way to save the world from war was for women to rule the world and for men to become more like women. Marston was, among other things, a noted psychological researcher and an enthusiastic bondage fetishist; he believed comic books were a great form for educational, anti-patriarchy propaganda. Wonder Woman was designed to bring the world to matriarchy through confronting abuse and modelling girl power, genderfucking, bondage play, and erotic mind control.” Continue reading →

in memorium

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

I recently lost a very special lady from my life. I would like to celebrate her strength and wonderful independent spirit here.

As always, Mary Oliver has the perfect words…

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Like an angel, or a Buddha with wings,
it was beautiful, and accurate,
striking the snow and whatever was there
with a force that left the imprint
of the tips of its wings — five feet apart —
and the grabbing thrust of its feet,
and the indentation of what had been running
through the white valleys of the snow —
and then it rose, gracefully,
and flew back to the frozen marshes
to lurk there, like a little lighthouse,
in the blue shadows —
so I thought:
maybe death isn’t darkness, after all,
but so much light wrapping itself around us —
as soft as feathers —
that we are instantly weary of looking, and looking,
and shut our eyes, not without amazement,
and let ourselves be carried,
as through the translucence of mica,
to the river that is without the least dapple or shadow,
that is nothing but light — scalding, aortal light —
in which we are washed and washed
out of our bones.

Dear Ann, wrapped in light, soft as feathers…
I’ll miss you

Foot fetish or foot appreciation?

~ Josie Baker ~ 2 Comments

To some, the sight of a well-tended, attractive foot is a huge turn-on. Why is it that a high arch, elegant toes, foot jewellery and/or sexy shoes can turn a normally sensible person into a slavering sex slave?

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There are a few theories, but this is the one I particularly like:

According to the neuroscientists, the part of the brain that relates to the genitalia and feet are located next to one other in the brain’s body image map, which can lead to some crossed wiring. The neurons in the brain that have to do with sensations in the foot are ‘neural neighbours’ to the neurons that have to do with sensations in the sexual areas. The theory is that the ‘couriers’ in the nervous system get crossed, which is why feet can be so erotic.

Other researchers have found the smell of feet is arousing  to some – the natural odour of feet can act like pheromones.

For men, interest in pretty peds may be because they don’t typically spend any time on their own feet, whereas women often make an effort to make theirs look attractive. The arches and natural curves of the woman’s foot can be as arousing as any feminine curve.

Then there’s ‘cue theory’ or imprinting – childhood experiences which may have a direct effect on a person’s erotic attraction to feet. Foot cues could originate from a very young age – as young as when a child is crawling, when they may see their mother’s feet more than any other part of her body. Thus, a foot can become associated with the positive feelings of a nurturing mother.

Ogi Ogas, a neuroscientist and co-author of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, explains, “Following cue theory, during a man’s critical period of sexual desire formation, his innate foot cue makes him more likely to pay attention to feet and makes him more receptive to foot-related stimuli. If through chance or culture he is then exposed to a strong foot-related experience—a woman sticking her foot in a thirteen-year-old’s face or watching your first girlfriend slowly unroll her black stockings—then the foot-related details of the experience are more likely to get imprinted.”

 

I can definitely appreciate how a lovely foot can be a turn-on, but from what I understand, having a fetish means that in order to be fully sexually aroused, you need to focus on one body part. In the case of podophilia, a foot fetish, the body part/s involved are the feet.

But there’s no reason you couldn’t call your love of a beautifully tended foot a fetish, if that’s what turns you on 😉

And if feet are your man’s Achilles heel, here are some positions he’ll love:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/g8659598/foot-fetish-sex-positions/

the magnificent fall

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

One of my favourite escapes from reality is to submerge myself in the stunning images on Pinterest.

I came across a photograph which really resonated with me (aptly called ‘The Point of No Return’ by Tatyana Druz, found at 500px.com). I thought I’d share it and the visceral reaction it prompted.

Photograph the point of no return by Tatyana Druz on 500px.com

I love the closeness of the couple and the immediacy of the plunge they are about to make together. I instantly recalled that wonderful, scary excitement when you’ve just met someone and you just know you are about to fall hard – for good or bad.

Or when you’ve just begun a new sexual encounter and all the pieces are falling into place – every touch is perfect and builds the anticipation and pleasure to dizzying extremes. You’re tensed and impatient for that blissful, heavenly drop – when you become an ethereal being with no physical boundaries.

 

An introduction to BDSM

~ Josie Baker ~ Leave a comment

Well, my next adventure of curiosity is not where I intended to go, but I’m so glad I did!

It came about from a book promotion I was sent – a book that had received some great ‘couldn’t put this book down’ reviews. There were also a couple of reviews from readers who obviously knew more about the subject than I did, who said there was too much explanation, that it read more like a ‘why and how’ manual. Perfect, I thought, I’ve never even had the faintest BDSM experience (and hadn’t ever thought I was missing anything until I read ‘With This Collar’ by Sierra Cartwright).

I admit to being curious, as I am with any form of pleasure, sexual or otherwise, so I didn’t hesitate to pick up the book when I came across it. My curiosity was well rewarded.

Firstly. I have to admit, I haven’t read 50 shades so although I’ve heard it’s repetitive and doesn’t appeal to people in the scene, I can’t compare it to my experience with ‘With This Collar’. To me, it sounds authentic, although with any romance, both main characters seem too good to be true and too well suited to be randomly thrown together.

Some of the reviews said the opening wedding scene was not believable – well, I loved it and wanted to believe it because I would have loved to have been Julia. Dropped into the deep end of her old friend’s BDSM lifestyle, taken in hand and shown the ropes by the gorgeous Dom, Marcus.

Yes, there’s lots of talk and explanation, but to the curious and uninitiated like me, it was just perfect. With a great mix of sexual tension and satisfaction to keep you turning the pages. Problem is now I’m squirming to explore. But where do I find a gorgeous Dom like Marcus??

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